Bonds

The D/s relationship is a fluid one; a symbiotic dance of giving and acceptance. For me it is as spiritual as Yin Yang. The Master and slave form the bond of Yang and Yin, each holds a piece of the other (the dots within each) and they swirl together closing the circle. The light and the darkness, the Dominant and the submissive. True harmony requires Yang to be dominant. Yin is passive. It is the natural order of things. Representing a perfect balance between opposites, Yin and Yang cannot exist without each other. in my heart i understand the truth of what i am: i am slave. however, without a Master to embrace this truth, the slave in me cannot exist.

The outer circle of Yin Yang represents "everything". D/s is not limited to specified areas of life, but is within everything. i need to know i am owned every minute of every day, not just during a "scene" or behind closed doors. For me, it must extend into every area of my life. i need to feel the control. i need to surrender all that i am. i may control many aspects of my life, but ultimately all of that is controlled by my Master. In other words, i dominate my world, but he dominates me and thus controls my world. There can be no area that is not touched by the fingers of D/s - that is not embraced by the power of our Yin Yang. It is through this bond that i gain my strength.

maia's site

During the last few years my wrath and in fact my red-faced fury has been inspired more than once by the accusation that my past absolute Master/slave relationships were not Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC). In fact, Those i have served have conducted Themselves in an irreproachably responsible and SSC manner. It seems to me that a full understanding of SSC behaviors requires a look at what SSC really means in a Master/slave context, and that is the purpose of this article.

The opinions expressed in this article are mine alone, and i do not expect everyone (or even anyone) to agree with them. This has been simply an explanation of why i am offended when in the past someone has from time to time accused One that i have served of not being SSC.

I'm a 24 year-old male switch who has been involved actively in the scene for about a year and a half. I never stop learning when it comes to this lifestyle. As a submissive, I belong to Jennifer (aka CMe4Whips) and wear a chain bracelet around my right wrist as a collar. Yes, ladies, I'm officially owned, so no more topping this bad little boy without Mistress's permission. I also have two online submissives, carole and lukins. I play whenever I can to hone my skills. Practice makes perfect after all. I am very glad to be part of Rubicon, an organization that I know has made a postive impact on the New Orleans BDSM community.

I've been into BDSM since I was a pre-teen, always having a fascination with ropes and tape. When I was in my early teens I practiced magic and discovered I wasn't always too keen to escape from the ropes. That was my first REAL hint that I was different. When I got older and could purchase magazines I bought all I could on BDSM and learned a LOT on the subject. Alas, I had no way of trying things out except on myself. Then just as my life was getting back on track I found a female who was willing to help me express my BDSM needs. She helped me to realize that I was submissive and that I truly enjoyed being bound for pleasure. The relationship lasted just over a year, but it woke me to my true self. It was during that time that I began to realize who I truly was. Shortly after that relationship I fell in love with someone who made me realize I was also a bisexual. He too took me to new limits in my BDSM lifestyle. Alas it was short lived due to emotional baggage on his end. Then when I wasn't looking, I found the one who is now my current Mistress and wife. We were introduced so that we could go to a play party and we talked beforehand regarding likes/dislikes/etc. and had a wonderful scene I won't ever forget. I was flying like I had never flown before. We talked late into the night and the next day went our separate ways, promising to keep in touch. As promised, we kept in touch over the internet since she lived in NC and I lived in La. Our next meeting was at Black Rose 10 where she introduced me to many aspects that I had not experienced before and 2 years after our first meeting we were married. She still knows how to read me and continues to expand my horizons. She is a prefect companion though she still doesn't know why I Love her of all people.

As a lifestyle and professional dominant, who formerly identified as submissive and a sassy bottom, my perspective on BDSM has undergone considerable change over time. I started my ^cat^'s House and Dungeon site several years ago and added to it faithfully for a long time. Then, starting in '97, my life drastically changed. I officially separated from my, then, husband, moved from Houston back to the New Orleans area, broke up with my long distance dominant, and started topping. That was a VERY "interesting" 12 months! I now have kink 4 sites on the web, one of which is ^cat^'s House and Dungeon. All can be accessed from www.prrcat.com. My guy/buddy/boy/submissive/lover/friend, Jaybird, and I make and sell St Andrew's Crosses and hope to expand into other types of bondage furniture.

Although I was once on the submissive side, I am now only "owned" by my 3 feline companions. I don't use the nickname "Cat" just cuz I like it! Between them, Rubicon and keeping after Jaybird, I'm kept reasonably occupied. That's the surface Nikki Cat, what you would learn as you got closer to me is that I'm very opinionated about this lifestyle. and that I'm just as insistent that people form their own opinions rather than believing every word that I or someone else tells them is "right". For example, I really dislike the word "sub", yet if that word is right for you, well, feel free to use it! Just don't expect me to do so. The only time I am "mistress" is when I'm consulting with a client. "Mistress", for me, is a very personal title and one that is for use between myself and the submissive who shares my life and wishes to call me such. Those others who feel the need to use a title can call me Miss Nikki, Ms Cat, or ma'am. Although BDSM infuses nearly every aspect of my life (social, business, personal), I don't feel that I'm any better or worse than the next person because of it. I'm NOT a supremacist and find that viewpoint difficult to wrap my thoughts around as I believe that dominance is not better than submission, only different.

If you really want to learn more about me, read my personal site entitled Miss Nikki's Chambers. There I have written from my heart about my beliefs/opinions/philosophies. :)

Well, I'm fairly new to this lifestyle as I've only been involved or taken up this a little over a year ago. When I look back on it I've always have been a little masochistic. From as far back as I can remember, I've had or acted on fantasies involving my tendencies.

For now I play on the submissive side. This is very different from my real life persona, but very much part of who I am. I'm still sorting out who I am in regard to this lifestyle. The submissive side plays well to my masochistic fantasies well, but I also have an authoritative side that comes naturally that I might one day want to try/express. Who knows where life will lead me in this journey/dance we call bdsm, all I can say is that I'm open to try and experience all that I can.

We all have a position in our BDSM, D/s lives. Typically, they are Dominant,
submissive or Switch. What life events has led you to be who you are in this
perspective and what drives you to experience all that you do? What in your
life makes you Dominant, submissive or Switch? What parts of you thrive on
this and what parts, if any, pay the price of these indulgences?

My religious upbringing (Catholic) did a pretty good job of twisting my mind
especially when the lessons about sacrifice were intermingled with beatings
from a most sadistic stepmother primarily because she could.

As a child and a teen, I was totally convinced I was a sick and twisted
pervert. On many occasions I considered suicide to avoid causing my "family"
embarrassment. Then at 18, my whole world changed.

My first real scene experience was an eye opener. My cousin introduced me to
girl on the South side of Chicago that at that time seemed to be direct from
planet Exotica. Her movements were so smooth yet exaggerated and sensual. Her
manner was so innocent yet she was incredibly sexual. She was intense,
vibrant and desirable. She could have been my Eve. I wanted her! Instead she
invited me to meet her friends, telling me I had to pass their inspection
before I could date her. There I met my Mistress. Eve, I was told, was a
slave girl -- she would never be mine. In fact I never saw her again. For
the next 18 months I drove 90 mph for the 200+ miles into Chicago every
Friday night to spend the weekend with my new Mistress.

The bitch didn't give a damn about safe. She liked booze and drugs and her
new toy -- me. She was crazy. And there was NO negotiation. I loved her
anyway. I was young and impressionable. She taught me the psychological side
of SM -- from the
inside. I learned bondage and discipline and humiliation all first hand. I
learned how not to treat someone you love. And finally I learned that I was
no bottom. I could do what she did, and I could do it better. I could be
something she never was to me, compassionate. I still feel I could bottom to
the right woman. But I haven't found Her, and I have made a point of
searching out and meeting the more famous ones.

My first slave, whom I introduced to the scene, became my wife for a short
time. Her beauty caused every head to turn our way when her long shapely legs
strolled into a room. And every skirt and pair of heels she owned showed them
off well. If only they all knew she knelt before me when we were alone!
Sandra went on to become one of NYC's top drawing professional Dommes. So did
I do something right with that one?

Since that divorce I have been active in so many BDSM orgs. Many of those
have come and gone these past 25 years. I stay active in as many as I can.
Before the Internet came into its own, there was no other way to light the
way for others who might have felt my despair. I am so thankful for groups
like Rubicon. You have no idea how wonderful and important you are. Thank you
for being there for those folks searching for someone of like mind, so they
no longer need to feel they are crazy or worse.

For now I am Dom -- All Dom -- probably the kinkiest person you would ever
want to meet, and the most sadistic too. There is a deep, deep satisfaction
for me in topping. I am very much in touch with what my partner is
experiencing during a scene. That connection is my focus. Taking them places
they can go no other way is the best way I can explain what I do. Tour guide
to the truly twisted, yes that's me.

I live my life in absolute luxury. I am the richest man I know. I have been
wealthy. The money brought a lot of pain with it. When the money went away,
the hundreds of friends I thought I had, did too.

Now, I have the luxury of being immersed in love with two of the most
beautiful women on this planet. They meet my needs in ways mere words cannot
express. We are on a campaign to explore all the deep dark recesses of their
minds. They satisfy me where I once was insatiable. They teach me about
myself and my world daily. They continue to give new meaning to the word
LOVE. They are my source of boundless joy. They serve me well. For the first
time in my life I have experienced true contentment.

My fondest hope is to share my peace and joy with each of you as I have the
opportunity to be with you.

And yes I am greedy. But I still work hard to give more than I get. Think
about that before any of you choose to slam me.

To the rest of you, who haven't yet had your prayers answered, keep
searching. Hopefully you will not have to endure the personal hell I did to
find your own inner peace. But even if you do, its worth it. Enjoy the
journey. You might just meet some truly twisted people along the way that
make it all worthwhile.

A sick and eternally twisted pervert,
Dan
Master to rae & merage